The Journey

Early Childhood

June 21st 1972

Mount Elgon Hospital, Kitale, Rift Valley, Kenya, East Africa.

**Mount Elgon Hospital**

**Picture this…**
It’s the Summer Solstice, officially the longest day of the year. We are in a small agricultural town in the Northern Rift Valley in East Africa. This idyllic town enjoys a scenic location sitting between Mount Elgon and the Cherangaly Hills.
Being the Solstice the Sun was at its highest position in the Sky and the Earth had its maximum tilt towards this bright celestial body. From the small County Hospital a baby could be heard crying……
**Cue the yet to be released song ‘Circle of Life’ from Lion King
**‘I had arrived’!**
My Grandparents moved to Kenya from Lahore which was in British India before the partition. The economic opportunities in Kenya (which formed the British East African Protectorate) was attractive and many Indians travelled there to work.
**My Dadaji (Dads Dad) worked for the Kenyan Government and My Nanaji (Mums Dad) was a restauranteur who ran Indian Restaurants in Mombasa, Nairobi and Nakuru.**
Both my parents were conceived in Kenya and their respective families were close friends. My Mum was introduced to my Dad for matrimony in 1967 and a few months later they were married. Mum was 16 and Dad was 24 ( I too am still trying to get my head around that one). My brother arrived a year later in 1968.
The year my brother was born my Nanaji and his family migrated to the United Kingdom. Being part of British India he held a British Passport which allowed for this move. Shortly after settling the family in London he planned to return back to Kenya to wind up his businesses. However the Kenyan Government refused his entry and held his assets because of the fact he held a British Passport and chose to leave Kenya.
**I will talk more about my Nanaji in this section as he was like a father figure to me in my early years. My Dad arrived in England when I was 2 (I never saw him at all until this age).**
My Nanaji had a huge influence on me. It is only now in reflection that I am noticing this. I believe his energy for life, his creativity and his passion for adventure inspired me throughout my own life. He instilled within me the importance of ‘family’ and the the joys of the extended family. He was never afraid of hard work or doing menial work. As I look back at his life and the behaviour I witnessed I believe he also had neurodivergent traits.
Back to the story…So he arrived in England aged 37 and had no access to his business interests in Kenya. He was in a new country and had to support four young children and his wife, my Naniji. He rented two rooms in a bed sit with shared facilities in Cranford. Access to the communal kitchen was only permitted for two hours a day.
My Nanaji didn’t waste any time in finding employment and managed to get a job at the United Biscuits Factory in Isleworth (which is now the Sky TV HQ). He did night shifts cleaning the machinery and cleaning the floors. Just as an aside I was surprised to hear that the birth of Independent Radio began in this factory (The United Biscuits Network). The bosses realised that playing songs in the factories increased productivity. Bollywood tunes were played on loop due to the large number of immigrant Indian working there. For those that are interested there is an article in The Guardian that was written about this recently.
**https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2020/nov/05/cracker-factory-records-the-surprising-story-of-united-biscuits-radio-station**
After a few years working at the home of the Jaffa Cake he purchased a second hand Ice Cream van and started selling fish and chips from it to the locals. He started to introduce samosas and other Indian delicacies. My Naniji (My Mums mum) made Indian Sweets at home and he used to deliver them to Indian households (well before Deiveroo). He continued to do this until some of the funds from Kenya were transferred to him.
**My family then made the decision to migrate from Kenya to the UK in 1972. I was 6 months old.**
**My Dad held a Kenyan Passport so he had to remain in Kenya. He arrived two years later in 1974 when the rules were relaxed to allow spouse sponsorship.**
**Mum was working for Timex Watches and when Dad arrived he worked in Liverpool Street as an accounts manager**
**Meanwhile my Nanaji saved enough money to buy a house in Hounslow which the family still have and still occupy. He also managed to acquire a commercial property to open a restaurant in Southall.**
It was one of the first Indian Restaurants in London. He was always ahead of his time. He was a visionary and a natural entrepreneur. With my Nanijis cooking skills and his business skills this had success written all over it.
He named the restaurant ‘Ritas’. This was my mum’s nickname. It became one of the most famous restaurants in London and people travelled from far and wide for his signature dishes such as ‘Aloo Tiki’ and ‘Faluda’. It quickly became a favourite meeting spot for the local community.
**It had a great warmth and vibe about it. All the local business people, gangsters, families etc used to meet here and it was like a large family.**
I spent a lot of my youth here and I made any excuse to visit and hang out with my mums brother Vijay Uncle who had his assigned seat at one of the tables. He is a large imposing character and was like the ‘Don’ of Southall.
So at young age I had this strange ability to eat whole green chillies without flinching. Sometimes when his larger than life friends were at the restaurant Vijay Uncle used t bring out a plate of the hottest green chillies and would challenge them to take me on in this in promptu ‘Chillie Off’ competition. I smashed it evertime. I must have been around 5 or 6 yrs old.
Rita’s continued to go from strength to strength within a short period of time. There were literally queues of customers going around the block waiting patiently to get their order in. Business was booming and so was my Nanajis bank balance.
We all lived at my Nanajis house which was a house like no other. Many generations were living there at the same time. Uncles, Aunties, Grandparents, and Cousins all under one roof. It was like there was aParty there every day. It became a central hub for the family and a stopping point for many of our family members from around the World. Fresh home made food was always available and any one who visited be it a guest or a plumber always left well fed.
Picture the family scenes in the movie ‘Home Alone’ and then multiply it several times and then add steroids. I have many great memories there. The Carnival atmosphere that existed there was something special.
Nanaji was a tall, well built and proud man who had enormous presence. He was always immaculately presented and was always seen in a tailored suit with hand made Italian shoes even when he was chilling at home. He was a well respected member of the Southall Community and a bit of a legend. He donated a lot of money towards community and temple projects.
He loved to share the wealth he accumulated and regularly treated the whole family and extended family to top restaurants in Central London. On one occasion he managed to secure tickets for everyone in the family for the World Premier of Gandhi in Leicester Square.
He was keen on adventure and I went on many caravan trips with him up and down the country. He often got the family in the back of his VW Transporter van and took us on day trips to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. The van had no seats and about 20 of us would be sitting on the floor crashing into each other every time he braked suddenly. Something I think he did deliberately. Our Samosas and coke cans would go flying.
He once bought a brand new Datsun 240GT. He then attached his caravan to the back of it and decided he wanted to do a road trip to India (yes, you read that right). He took Naniji, Vijay Uncle and his wife and their young son Sanjay. It was in the Summer Holidays of 1974. They left from Hounslow and went to Dover.This being the only water crossing. They drove through France, Belgium, Germany, Austria, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria, Turkey, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan finally arriving in India where they toured Amritsar, Delhi and Kashmir. Vijay Uncle has many stories of that trip. They encountered corrupt border control officials, friendly locals and shopkeepers who treated them like guests and extremely helpful police officers who went out of their way to help them on this epic journey.
**On retirement he took my Naniji on a World Cruise from Portsmouth to Australia.**
**In 1975 my Nanaji provided the deposit for my parents to buy a house of their own. They found one close by in Heston and we left the mayhem of my Grandads house.**
Since the passing of my Nanaji and Naniji many years ago their powerful energy and aura has disappeared from the family. They kept the family tight, entertained and well fed but more importantly it was the genuine love they exuded for each other and the family that was something special. Ritas was sold many decades ago and has been under different management ever since. For me it was never the same without the star team running it.
Meanwhile back in Kenya we had news that My Dadaji was tragically murdered in Nakuru by thieves.They broke into the house whilst he was playing cards with his friends. He refused to hand over his watch. They hit him on the head with a club. He later died in hospital from his injuries. Gradually my Dads side of the family found Kenya unsafe and they all eventually migrated to Australia.
As a result of the ‘stimualting and dopamine releasing’ environment I was raised in during the early years and the fact that there were so many kids in the house my ADHD behaviour would have gone unnoticed but there were signs which I will highlight below.

Displays of my ADHD Symptoms at age 0-5

Looking back now it seems I have some common traits of Autism also which is not uncommon with ADHD. Known as a comorbidity.

Bedwetting - My Grandads favourite story about me was about how much Ribena I drank and how many of his mattresses I ruined due to bedwetting. He eventually resorted to wrapping plastic covers on them to avoid financial ruin. He used to tell this story to everyone he met including my wife when I introduced her to him! Ribena has an extremely high sugar content and this may have been me ‘dopamine scavenging’.

Avoidance of Brushing my teeth or Brushing my Hair - Yes. I know I am a dentist you don’t have to remind me. So I drank gallons of the worst possible thing for your teeth and avoided brushing yet I’ve always had excellent teeth and never had tooth decay. Although I did cause a fracture in a virgin tooth due to clenching a few years back. You will be glad to know I was a regular tooth brusher from starting school onwards but the hair, well that legacy continues.

Late Speech- I didn’t start talking till I was around 4 and a half years old. Everyone must have assumed I was naturally quiet and shy. I also think because of the number of children in the house and the absolute chaos and mischief that obviously accompanied this it wasn’t considered a problem.

Zoning Out- I was told I would zone out when watching tv or staring out of the window to the point that I would not hear someone calling out to me and had to be physically tapped on the shoulder to get my attention.

Craving Acceptance- I had to be loved to validate that I was being accepted. This seemed to have been something I did at an early age when I worked hard to get my cousins to love me.

The comfort of the colour red- This one is a strange one. I have always been drawn by this colour. My parents always told me I would choose red socks even when I was vey young. I don’t have a reason to explain this but I have always included this colour in everything I do. I still at age 51 only wear red socks, red trainers and cannot leave the house without my red wristbands on. It’s some form of comfort for me. Even all the logos I've made for all of my practices and companies must include red. I’m assuming this is an autistic/adhd trait.

Eating green chillies-I recently came across some research that showed that eating chillies stimulates dopamine release in the brain. I must have been self medicating as a child!

Education

1976-1990

Springwell Infant and Junior School and Heston Comprehensive School, Heston, Hounslow, Middlesex.

Heston Comprehensive School

**Soon after settling in our new home I joined the local Infant School followed by the Junior School (1976-1984).**
I was a very shy and awkward boy and found it hard to make friends. I wasn’t very good with social cues. It was at school that I began to escape to the toilet whenever I was overstimulated and overwhelmed. It was my sanctuary. When I locked the toilet door I felt safe for a few minutes. I had to take several deep breaths and compose myself before I came out again. It is something I did throughout my life and still do. Occasionally at parties or social occasions I get over stimulated by the chatter, loud music and bright lights. I need to get that break in the confines of the toilet to decompress.
I was not a bright kid and found it hard to keep up with the tasks given to me. I didn’t enjoy school at all and counted the hours till I got home. My school reports reflected my lack of engagement in school.
I then moved on to the local Comprehensive School. I found my years here very tough and I began to realise how difficult it was for me to fit in. It was a very alpha male environment. This is when I began to feel totally out of place. I was skinny, I was shy, I was hairy and I had big ears. I was obviously an easy target. I used to dread P.E as I was very lanky and scrawny and was always the last one to be chosen when they picked teams.
The changing rooms and the communal showers were particularly stressful for me as I was always made fun of (for obvious reasons). I would stay up all night dreading being in the changing rooms with those boys who mocked me. I would often hand in letters from my parents which I faked in order to say I was too ill attend these classes.
In the early years there was open racism and it was not uncommon to be regularly called racist names or have racist chants directed to you. The School wasn’t particularly concerned about this and raising a concern would amount to nothing and would have increased the resentment towards you even more both from teachers and those hurling obscene abuse.
I did eventually make friends later on in the school years. The group of friends I joined were exceptionally intelligent and excelled in school. I found school hard and was in the lower groups for most of the subjects so I wasn’t sure how I was accepted into this group.
I was very intimidated by my peers intelligence and their focus. They prepared well in advance for exams and had discipline from the start. I just couldn’t do this. I forced myself to go to the local library to study like them but I was distracted all the time. I still went throughout my time there in the hope of picking something up. I found it hard to concentrate in lessons and often zoned out. My school reports again were not brilliant.
I just couldn’t seem to concentrate in the classroom. I would often just fixate on something on the wall or something outside and zone out. I also didn't learn anything in classrooms because I found it hard to sit in one place for long periods. I was very fidgety and just couldn’t keep still.
Whilst sitting at the school desk my leg would continually bounce up and down without me knowing (stimming). It was only when the person next to me complained when the desk also shook that I realised what I was doing and had to consciously stop myself. I still do this all the time.
Although I was quiet in school I loved being involved in activities. I help set up the tuck shop which made great profits. With the profits I arranged an all expense paid trip for all of the 6th form to go to Thorpe Park. I was also voted in by the students as the ‘School Head Boy’. Once again I believe I was working extra hard to gain acceptance and validation.
So my brother was studying Medicine at Southampton. He was a straight A student. He was very focussed and worked very hard for his exams. All I remember of him as a child is him spending hours studying for exams. He wanted me to also do Medicine but I knew I wouldn’t get in and also it didn’t interest me.
**The minimum A level requirement for Medicine back then was BBB and Dentistry was BCC.**
**Dentistry appealed to me more as I was very good with my hands but to be honest the lower grade requirement was more of an attraction**
The School didn’t have much faith in me. My predicted grades for A levels were CCC. Even with these low predicted grades I still managed to get 5 offers for the 5 Dental Schools I applied to. (Guys,Royal London, Kings, Bristol and Cardiff).
During my A levels I became aware for the first time that I have the ability to picture pages in my head and recall them almost word for word. I noticed that if I stared at a page for long enough and focussed intensely on it I could sort of photocopy it to my brain.
‘Foyles’ the bookshop in London was one of my favourite places to visit. On one visit I found a little book covered with dust hidden amongst the bigger Chemistry books. It was quite old and was made with poor quality paper. It was written by a South Indian Professor. It was a ‘model answers ‘ book for Chemistry A level questions. It used questions from very old A level papers.
I didn’t buy the book but I spent some time scanning through it in the bookshop. When I sat my A level Chemistry Exam one of the questions in the long answer paper was exactly the same as one of the questions from that little dusty book.
**I could picture the answer from that book and recited it on the exam paper word for word and without any application of knowledge.**
**This question carried the most marks for the exam. I literally finished the exam half way before the end. I could even recall the page number from that book. (page 37).**
Much to the disbelief of my friends, family and my teachers my final grades were ABB (I obviously got the A in Chemistry). I was formally accepted at my first choice. The prestigious Guys Dental Hospital.

Displays of my ADHD Symptoms between the ages of 6-17

Looking back again there is probably an overlap with Autism

The Start of me Masking- Masking is the way someone with ADHD tries to adapt in a neurotypical world in order to appear “normal” and fit in. It is basically an ‘act’ to appear like everyone else. It takes time to master but you get better with time. You have no choice. I tended to observe people intensely. It’s a bit like those method actors who spend time with the people they are trying to portray and examine their words and expressions. I was constantly analysing other peoples behaviour and attempted to introduce it in my charade.

Rejection Sensitivity Dysmorphia (RSD)-I was particularly sensitive to criticism. It wasn’t a normal response. It could be the way someone answered me or looked at me. Even if they didn’t have any intention of being critical, I would interpret it differently and as an attack. I suppose I saw it as failure in the hard work I was putting into masking.

People with ADHD have extremely low self esteem and need constant validation that they are worthy to be here. The masking had to be tweaked every so often to make sure that challenges or criticisms were minimised. The strange thing is I am only now realising what I was doing back then. I thought everyone was ‘masking’. I thought they had just mastered it better than me, but I now realise they were just being themselves

Body Dysmorphia-As already mentioned I was lanky and geeky. With or without ADHD I was going to find it tough in a boisterous Comprehensive School. I remember once in class the boy behind me asked me to fold my ears in because he couldn’t see the blackboard. Monkey noises were frequently directed to me.

Avoiding scenarios that involve ‘small talk’ - For example hairdressers. I hated going to the hairdresser and still do and prefer to do it myself (as you can tell!). I hate making small talk and find it quite intrusive when somebody randomly approaches me to say something irrelevant. It’s not them, it’s obviously me but I just haven’t got the energy for this. However if it’s someone I’m comfortable with you cannot stop me from talking let alone get a word in edgeways.

Lack of Focus for mundane activities- I could never concentrate in class. I used to frequently zone out looking at something on the wall or outside. Mundane and repeat activities some of which are important in life never interested me as it wasn’t exciting enough (dopamine releasing). I couldn’t muster up the energy to start these type of activities. If it was something like handing in some work in a weeks time I would sit on it until the last minute. This is the same with bills. I need deadlines to create this sense of urgency.

Hyperfocus- If I found something novel and exciting to do I would hyper focus on it. I would forget to eat, drink or sleep. I have the ability to do a lot of work in a very short time frame if the task interests me.

Time blindness- This is when hours may pass when you are hyper fixated on a task. You lose all concept of time and many hours could pass without you releasing. Once again the interest in the activity had to be there.

Stimming- I would always unconsciously shake my leg when I’m sitting anywhere for long. I also tend to fidget all the time. My body just cannot keep still which is annoying for those around me. I have also always doodled in class and lectures as my body needs to keep doing something.

Photographic memory-ability to recall visually pages of text and images accurately and reproduce it on paper

1990-1996

Dental Student, Guy’s Dental Hospital, London Bridge, London

Guys Dental Hospital

**‘Hounslow Boy Did Good’ I moved to the greatest City in the World and apparently the Best Dental School in the World (well that’s what we were told and I choose to believe).**
**All of a sudden I was thrown into a brand new environment with a cohort of students that were completely different to what I was accustomed to.**
Guys attracted some of the brightest students around. I was with people who had family members in dentistry and had dentistry in their blood. The majority came from private schools and many had very privileged backgrounds.
First year at Dental School was extremely over stimulating for me. I was not used to socialising in the evening and all I witnessed was debauchery. This wasn’t my scene at all and I mostly stayed in my Halls Room. I was a bit of a loner and that room was my sanctuary. I had problems socialising and I frequently listened from my door to see if the coast was clear before I came out to use the communal bathroom and kitchen. I found it very uncomfortable and stressful.
**I did eventually meet some friends who I felt comfortable with. All of them were from similar backgrounds to me. Things began to look up and I began to enjoy my time there.**
**Throughout my time at Guys I used to spend hours in the library trying to study because everyone else was and I was attempting to mimic them. This was my attempt to fit in and appear ‘normal’.**
**Most of the time when I was in the library or in those late night study rooms that were open 24 hours I was actually not absorbing any information.**
Just like in School when I used to spend hours in the library I was procrastinating, or just staring at something on the wall, or even the same page in a book for hours. It just made me feel better being there as I felt like I was behaving like everyone else. I was even the last one to leave as I never slept much anyway.
**But it always seemed to be the last week or two before an exam that my brain switched on. This was because it had become urgent. Then it was hyper focus.**
**My photographic memory seemed to be functioning well and this was reflected in the high grades I was achieving.**
**In 1992 Dental Students were allowed for the first time to do an Intercalated Batchelor of Science Degree.**
It was a one year batchelor’s degree that involved a research project plus an end of year exam. My dopamine chasing brain decided to go for it and I was one of the chosen ones to be part of the first ever cohort.
**I found the research work extremely tedious and extremely tiresome and had no motivation to complete it. It involved a lot of planning and I’m not good with this.**
**I eventually completed the research project but because I left it so late to complete and submit my findings I didn’t spend any time at all preparing for the written exam.**
There was literally only a week left before my final exam and there was no way I could revise the vast amount of content. I knew my limits. This exam would involve answering questions that required your thought so what use was a photographic memory. I went into meltdown and came home in tears.
I told the family I wasn’t going to sit the exam. My older brother sat me down and insisted I attended the exam. He advised me to just write my name on the paper because the coursework will count for something.
**I immediately spent the next few days before the exam attempting the impossible. I went into my hyperfocus mode fuelled by my dopamine rush.**
**I went into the exam having not slept for a few days. As before in other exams I finished the exam 30 minutes early.**
**For completion of this story I was awarded a ‘First Class Honours’. Only one other dental student received this result.**
**However all of this paled into significance as my biggest achievement from Guy’s was about to show itself.**
**Read on….**.

1993

The Colonnade, Guys Hospital. I crossed paths with the Most Beautiful Girl I had ever seen.

Guys Colonnade

**The Intercalated BSc was the reason I met my soul mate. Personally this proved to be the most important role of this additional degree.**
Taking a year out meant I moved into the year below to continue my dental degree. It was when I returned to this new year group that I caught sight of the ‘most beautiful girl’ I had ever seen. She was called Sushma. She was like a ray of sunshine amongst the dull grey background of a rainy day in London.
That first encounter was when we crossed paths in the famous Colonnade at Guys. She smiled at me as we passed each other. I immediately put my head straight down and walked past her looking awkward. I couldn’t stop thinking about her from that day. I couldn’t believe she smiled at me.
I next saw her when we were waiting for an exam. She passed me by with her friends and I noticed a scold on her hand. I was actually very concerned as it looked very painful. Being super empathetic there was no way I was going to ignore that. I approached her and asked her what had happened. She was with a group of boys who didn’t seem concerned and were laughing at us when I showed concern.
**She said she burnt it whilst ironing. I cringed and got a shiver down my back as I can’t tolerate other peoples pain. I insisted she went to Guys A and E and I guided her to where to go.**
**I would have taken her but I was five minutes late for the viva. She told me to hurry up and go to the exam.**
For completion of the story or maybe just to show off, I won the Prize for Dental Materials Science that day but to be totally honest I was more concerned about her hand. I went looking for her and found her with her hand neatly dressed.
**We seemed to be bumping into each other quite often after that. I would notice her as she was approaching and I would always make a fleeting complimentary comment to her.**
**Then one night at one of our colleagues party she just randomly and unashamedly grabbed my hand. She didn’t let go of it the whole evening.**
**So we were now a couple despite neither of us formally asking each other out.**

Displays of my ADHD Symptoms between aged 18-Present

Since we have now entered my adult years I will outline the full list of my ADHD behaviours up to present time

Overstimulation/Sensory Overload- The toilet was my escape when I was over stimulated in big group events. It was a form of recharging my battery. When I’m around people I am extremely chatty and engaging but my social battery runs out almost all of a sudden and without notice. I need the inner sanctum of the toilet to recharge.

Procrastinate to use the loo- While we are on the topic of the loo, I often set tasks for me to do before I pee even if i’m bursting. It gives me the motivation to achieve so many tasks in super quick time and the reward is the loo.

Inability to focus in lectures/cinemas/stimming- I can never sit for long in one place. This includes lectures and at the cinema. As far as I can remember I always ask for an end seat because of my need to take a walk or get way from the monotony of the environment. I will also fidget or shake my leg involuntarily as my body needs to be doing something all the time(stimming). My wife loves Bollywood movies but they are normally 3 hours long. My worst nightmare but because I love her I occasionally try and remain in the seat and keep still.

The need for subtitles and the rewind button when watching movies. Listening to songs on repeat.- I cannot watch movies without subtitles. I also have to constantly rewind scenes as my focus may get directed to something in the background of the scene or something in the room. I then redirect my focus back to the movie only to realise I missed what happened. I also tend to listen to the same songs all the time on repeat. I have listened to the same songs by Michael Jackson all my life. This is the same for television programmes which I put on and re watch over and over again. I think it maybe that I know what is going to happen so I can go in and out of it when my mind wonders without rewinding it.

Ability to read people and situation outcomes with high accuracy/ focus on other conversations-I have very good intuition. I can also walk into a room full of people and I would be able to assess and map positions almost immediately. I have the ability to hear someone else’s conversation a distance away whilst I’m supposed to be listening to someone in front of me. This only happens when people tell me long stories and take ages to get to the point. It’s like I have noise cancelling headphones with said person.

Interrupting People in Conversations/ Not listening- Anyone who knows me will get this. I can’t help it. I think it’s because I have something interesting to say but because I know I will forget in a few seconds I need to get it out before its lost forever. It’s the same for listening. Because I’m holding in this thing I want to say I focus on this alone and forget to listen to the other person.

Pre preparing conversations-If I am going to attend somewhere where I don’t know the people I would pre prepare questions to avoid awkward silences.

Ability to simplify tasks, skipping unnecessary steps- I am good at problem solving and can quickly reach a desired outcome that many people would take much longer to reach.

Multitasking and work well in emergency situations- I have spent most of my practicing life dealing with emergencies. I work well under these conditions and find it stimulating and achieve excellent outcomes.

Need for routine and structure -Having an extremely rigid routine reduces my symptoms and makes me more productive and less prone to procrastination.

Exceptional Pattern recognition skills- I can see patterns almost instantaneously in things that nobody else can.

Postural Sway-I am very clumsy and accident prone. I have poor balance and I’m constantly walking into things. I wake up with numerous bruises on me because I have walked into several things during the night on the way to the loo.

Dislike of afternoon appointments- I like to always have morning appointments. if it’s an appointment in the afternoon my whole day is wasted in anticipation of that appointment. I cannot do anything productive until its finished.

Being extra early for everything- People with ADHD have poor time keeping. They are normally always late or too early. I come into the ‘too early’ category. On average I am around 2 hours earlier than expected for things. For example I start work at 111 at 8am. I set my alarm for 4am. I’m ready by 5am and leave for work. I’nm there at 6am. There is no need for me being this early but I have always got anxious if I’mm not somewhere well before I’m expected.

No patience when queuing up-I hate queues. I will do anything to avoid them. When my kids were younger I used to love taking them to Chessington World of Adventures. We had the Merlin Card which gave unlimited access to the park and it was literally 15 mins away from our house. I used to wake the kids up early in the morning and get them to the park 20 miutes before it opened. When the gates opened we jumped from one ride to the next with no queues. It was heaven. There is no way I could queue up for an hour for a 2 minute ride. That would be torture.

Walk into the room without knowing why/ Forgetting where I put something- I frequently go into a room in the house because of a reason and then once I’m in there I forget why I went in. I will stand in there for a few minutes to see if it comes to me. Sometimes it does sometimes it doesn't. It is very frustrating. I frequently misplace things. I would be sure I left something somewhere literally a few seconds ago and then when I go back it’s disappeared. It’s like someone is playing hide and seek with my things.

Task interruption by something on the way-Frequently I would have some important task to complete and go to get something from say my kids bedroom. If her room is a mess which it inevitably is I would get distracted by this and then spend the next couple of hours cleaning it. Now this wouldn’t just be a normal clean it would be a deep clean finished with a lit aromatic candle. I would have then have forgotten about the important task I was supposed to do.

Doom Piling- I love having the whole house immaculate and ordered but when it comes to my man cave there are different rules. All my clothes are in piles. Only I know what pile is what. It looks extremely disorganised but it works for me.

Sensory issues-I suffer with a lot of sensory issues. I cannot tolerate ‘white’ light ( It actually makes me feel sick). I try and ensure ‘warm’ lighting is installed as much as possible. I also can only wear certain materials. My pet hates are ‘noisy eaters’ especially crunchy eaters. I literally have to leave the room if anyone near me starts eating crisps. Noise Cancelling headphones have been a life saver. I cannot live without them anymore.

intolerance of slow walkers- I cannot tolerate slow walkers in front of me. For some reason it makes me anxious. I need to accelerate past them as soon as possible. I also find it anxiety inducing when some one is walking very close behind me. if I walk faster and then they do too that makes me even more anxious. I then have to stop and let them pass. I then feel relieved and continue at my comfortable pace.

Lack of eye contact with people- I find it hard making eye contact with people. I become conscious of this and when I do attempt it I question myself… How long should I do it for?….Do I look creepy?…. Do I blink now?… it is all so much hard work for me.

I have many many more behaviours to add but my ADHD has made me lose interest in this section because I’ve spent too long on it but I will be back to complete it soon.

Employment

1996-1997

House Officer, Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery, The Royal London Hospital, Whitechapel, London

The Royal London Hospital

I was keen to go into Oral Surgery. On paper and in clinics as an undergraduate I had proved I was more than capable. My results were always at the top end of the scale. I had won school prizes plus I had the coveted first class Intercalated degree but for some reason my application for house officer position was unsuccessful at my home University.
**However I was accepted at ‘The Royal London Hospital’ in Whitechapel. This was quite unusual and I was flattered as Universities tend to give preference to their own students for these positions.**
**I was appointed ‘House Officer’ in Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery.**
I was put on call the first weekend I started. I was literally left to deal with triaging and dealing with any maxillofacial injuries that came in. I had to manage patients with some pretty horrific injuries.
This was the East End of London on a Friday Night. I sowed up cheeks that had been sliced, ears that were ripped, witnessed crash teams dealing with motorbike accidents where the faces of the injured were unrecognisable.
**In terms of dopamine release this was releasing it in bucket loads. It’s been said that those with ADHD thrive in emergency care positions such as this.**
**Working there was one of the most challenging and eye opening experiences of my life but I enjoyed the mayhem.**
I was working under some of the best Maxillofacial Consultants in the Country. They were particularly hard on me because I was from Guys and we thought we were the best. I was a lamb going in for slaughter.
I have to say that the Royal London Dental Students were all exceptionally talented and confident dentists. I think this may be because of the high needs area and the exposure to a lot of under graduate patient treatment. On one occasion I remember having to get one of the final year students to help me get a wisdom tooth out. They were very humble and gracious students.
**My girlfriend Sush, was doing her House Job in Stafford District Hospital which made it difficult for us to see each other as we were both on call a lot and also because of the distance.**
**One Friday evening in early December 1996 whilst I was on call in Royal London’s extremely busy A and E Department I got a call from Sush. She was also on call at her Hospital that night.**
**She sounded breathless and couldn’t get her words out. I was obviously getting concerned. She eventually calmed down. She told me that our parents had been talking.**
I had no idea what she was going on about as I hadn’t even told my parents that I had a girlfriend. How did they even get each others phone numbers. Sush’s parents live in Delhi. I had never even met any of her family.
**She proceeded to say that the families had some discussions and thought we should get married!**
I went silent….thinking this is not normal or how it’s suppose to happen. She carried on to say both families suggested a day the following month as the climate in Delhi was pleasant and the family and guests would be available to attend.
I thought I was going delusional as I hadn’t slept for 2 days. I was still silent as she continued to talk to me. I think I zoned out during the latter part of the conversation and must have agreed to everything. It was only when some commotion caused by a group of aggressive drunks in the A and E department that I came around.
**So the ink on our BDS Certificates was still drying and we were getting married in 3 weeks time!**
The following month I travelled to Delhi. This would be the first time I had seen her parents. This was not normal protocol. The Wedding ceremony (around the fire) started January 7th at 9pm (as this was a time advised by the Pandit). It finished at 2am the following day. I had been in a perpetual daze starting from the phone call from Sush in the A and E department to circling around this fire at 2 am in Delhi 3 weeks later.
**The strange thing about all of this is that firstly we never even asked each other out and secondly we never even proposed to each other!**
**We celebrated our 27th Wedding Anniversary this year and my love for her grows every year I’m in her presence.**

The Unleashing of The Creative Side Began 2001

**The Practices 2001-2020**

**After the birth of our millennium baby we embarked on our next journey and we set up our first practice in Hounslow. This was followed by four more over the years.**
My passion was to build. I would try and do as much as of the building work as I could. This was when I was in my element. I loved it. Dopamine was flowing like the Niagara Falls and I saved an absolute fortune.
We were fortunate to win many awards for our practices. My particular favourite was the Private Dentistry Award for ‘Most Innovative Practice’ in 2005 for ‘The New York Dental Office’ in Brentford.
I won’t bore you with all the stories associated with each practice but I want to mention that the creation of the practices was an outlet for my creative side and that they kept me busy and focussed. It involved a lot of multi tasking which I am good at but more importantly it subdued the negative ADHD symptoms.
If there is anything I have learnt from having ADHD for so many years is that you need to find what interests you and go for it. Then you can harness the power that ADHD gives you to achieve some unbelievable results.
Problems will inevitably arise if you are doing something that doesn’t interest you. This will be detrimental to your long term health and you will never be happy. You will be dopamine depleted and will attempt to source it from wherever you can and this can lead to unhealthy behaviours.
**I believe that all children should be screened for ALL neurodivergent conditions. By picking it up early you can nurture their ‘superpowers’ and guide them to careers that they will excel in.**
The current education system and way of teaching is for ‘neurotypical’ children. ‘Neurodivergents’ don’t have the same type of brain. They have different ways of thinking and learning and I feel a lot of ‘neurodivergents’ talent is lost or not explored.
That immense energy has so much potential and should not be wasted on them masking. This energy needs to be expelled and we mustn’t allow them to lose hope and direct this energy to behaviours that may be detrimental to them.
**Most of my neurodivergent behaviours have been covered earlier so I will finish this section with a summary of my career to present time.**

Practice 1 - 2001

SK Dental Hounslow, London

Our First Dental Practice.

My wife’s initials before and after marriage were S.K. as was mine. We named it SK Dental. It was the oldest practice in Hounslow and was established in the 1930’s. Wasn’t as sexy as the names of the subsequent practices but for us this was our bread and butter practice that allowed us to achieve so much in life. It had many owners and many relocated their patients to other sites. We inherited around 500 patients from the previous owner. By the time we sold it in 2016 we had around 20,000 patients purely through word of mouth recommendations.

I relocated this practice to a bigger site in 2014.

Practice 2 - 2004

The New York Dental Office, Brentford, London

Our Second Dental Practice

I bought this building in 2002. It took a lot of time getting planning permission for dental use. Eventually I received the permission and went all out on design and the name. We affectionately called it NYDO for short. You can read the full story of this award winning practice below.

I sold it in 2007.

read the nydo story

Practice 3 - 2007

The New York Dental Office 2, Surbiton, Surrey

Our Third Dental Practice

This was another building we acquired and set up a practice. We named it NYDO2. You can see some pictures below.

I sold it in 2014.

see more of nydo2

Practice 4 - 2014

SK Dental 2, Hounslow, London

Our Fourth Practice

Due to the rapid growth of SK dental we needed a bigger premises. We relocated down the road to this large shopfront. This was one of my favourite designs. See some of the pictures below.

We sold it in 2016.

Practice 5 - 2020

smile, Kingston, Surrey

Our Fifth Dental Practice

I acquired this property to make a studio and office for myself. It is only around 350sq ft. The temptation to make a dental practice was always there but it was too small. My dopamine hunting brain loves a challenge. We somehow managed to make quite possibly the smallest dental practice ever.

See pictures below.

We sold it in 2022.

2017

The Met Film School, Ealing Film Studios, London

Part Time Film Student

This was an evening part time short course at the Met Film School which is at the iconic Ealing Film Studios. I loved it. I met other adults who were not dentists and had the same passion for film as I did. I found it so comfortable with them and I was doing what I always dreamed of doing. I was still practicing as a dentist at this time which meant I was always thinking about work. Dentistry is a profession where you can never take a break. There will always be something that crops up especially if you own a practice.However I enjoyed this course tremendously and we all had to make a short movie at the end.Me being me likes to do everything by myself so I didn’t use the videographers, lighting people etc that were available to us.I was elated when my short movie won several International Short Movie Awards and was shown at the Everyman Cinema in Esher.

You can watch it below.

see my student short movie

2018

The BDJ Magazine Cover Pages

Photographer

I was experimenting with my macro lens one day in the surgery and took a shot of the diamond bur (drill). I thought it was pretty good and sent it the British Dental Journal for their consideration to use on their cover page. A few weeks later the design board wrote back to say they loved it and if I could do 10 more similar shots. You know me by now. This was a challenge and a hardcore dopamine fix. This is what I thrive on. I did 15 shots and these are the ones that made the covers. To have my photography on the covers of this iconic and well respected scientific journal has been one of my greatest photographic achievements.

2019

The Dental Town UK Magazine Covers

Photographer

The very friendly team at the forward thinking Dental Town UK Magazine asked me to do a few cover shots. They gave me a brief and allowed me full creative licence to do whatever I wanted. I had so much fun doing some of these. I dressed up for two of the shots and used a self timer. Note that ‘I’m masking’. I was also given the huge privilege to devise a cover to reflect the passing of a much loved colleague and relative Dr Anoop Maini. He had achieved legend status in the dental world and was one of the most passionate dentists I have ever come across. He is still missed.

2016 - Present

NHS Dental 111 Smile Triage, London

Clinical Lead

I joined Smile Dental Triage in 2016 as Clinical Lead. We triage all the NHS 111 Dental Emergencies that come through for London.

When the pandemic arrived on our shores dental practices were forced to close almost overnight. They ended up being closed for three months.

All of a sudden we were responsible to triage every single dental emergency for London. This was not only for NHS patients but ‘all’ patients in London with dental pain. We had to adapt almost immediately. Being the Clinical Lead was a huge responsibility during this time. However with my ADHD and its plus points of being calm in emergency situations and the ability to problem solve under pressure together with the hard work of the entire team we did remarkably well. The camaraderie was heart warming.

We worked tirelessly throughout the lockdown. I was there almost everyday as were the management team. It still remains a 24 hr 365 days a year service and is still exceptionally busy. During my time here I have personally taken well over 25,000 emergency calls. The Management team I work with and the dental nurses taking calls are exceptional and it’s a pleasure and an honour to be part of this very important and valuable service.

THE JOURNEY

The Journey

Early Childhood

June 21st 1972

Mount Elgon Hospital, Kitale, Rift Valley, Kenya, East Africa.

Displays of my ADHD Symptoms at age 0-5

Late Speech- I didn’t start talking till I was around 4 and a half years old. Everyone must have assumed I was naturally quiet and shy. I also think because of the number of children in the house and the absolute chaos and mischief that obviously accompanied this it wasn’t considered a problem.

Zoning Out- I was told I would zone out when watching tv or staring out of the window to the point that I would not hear someone calling out to me and had to be physically tapped on the shoulder to get my attention.

Craving Acceptance- I had to be loved to validate that I was being accepted. This seemed to have been something I did at an early age when I worked hard to get my cousins to love me.

Eating green chillies-I recently came across some research that showed that eating chillies stimulates dopamine release in the brain. I must have been self medicating as a child!

Education

1976-1990

Springwell Infant and Junior School and Heston Comprehensive School, Heston, Hounslow, Middlesex.

Displays of my ADHD Symptoms between the ages of 6-17

Hyperfocus- If I found something novel and exciting to do I would hyper focus on it. I would forget to eat, drink or sleep. I have the ability to do a lot of work in a very short time frame if the task interests me.

Time blindness- This is when hours may pass when you are hyper fixated on a task. You lose all concept of time and many hours could pass without you releasing. Once again the interest in the activity had to be there.

Stimming- I would always unconsciously shake my leg when I’m sitting anywhere for long. I also tend to fidget all the time. My body just cannot keep still which is annoying for those around me. I have also always doodled in class and lectures as my body needs to keep doing something.

Photographic memory-ability to recall visually pages of text and images accurately and reproduce it on paper

1990-1996

Dental Student, Guy’s Dental Hospital, London Bridge, London

1993

The Colonnade, Guys Hospital. I crossed paths with the Most Beautiful Girl I had ever seen.

Displays of my ADHD Symptoms between aged 18-Present

Procrastinate to use the loo- While we are on the topic of the loo, I often set tasks for me to do before I pee even if i’m bursting. It gives me the motivation to achieve so many tasks in super quick time and the reward is the loo.

Pre preparing conversations-If I am going to attend somewhere where I don’t know the people I would pre prepare questions to avoid awkward silences.

Ability to simplify tasks, skipping unnecessary steps- I am good at problem solving and can quickly reach a desired outcome that many people would take much longer to reach.

Multitasking and work well in emergency situations- I have spent most of my practicing life dealing with emergencies. I work well under these conditions and find it stimulating and achieve excellent outcomes.

Need for routine and structure -Having an extremely rigid routine reduces my symptoms and makes me more productive and less prone to procrastination.

Exceptional Pattern recognition skills- I can see patterns almost instantaneously in things that nobody else can.

Postural Sway-I am very clumsy and accident prone. I have poor balance and I’m constantly walking into things. I wake up with numerous bruises on me because I have walked into several things during the night on the way to the loo.

Dislike of afternoon appointments- I like to always have morning appointments. if it’s an appointment in the afternoon my whole day is wasted in anticipation of that appointment. I cannot do anything productive until its finished.

Doom Piling- I love having the whole house immaculate and ordered but when it comes to my man cave there are different rules. All my clothes are in piles. Only I know what pile is what. It looks extremely disorganised but it works for me.

Lack of eye contact with people- I find it hard making eye contact with people. I become conscious of this and when I do attempt it I question myself… How long should I do it for?….Do I look creepy?…. Do I blink now?… it is all so much hard work for me.

I have many many more behaviours to add but my ADHD has made me lose interest in this section because I’ve spent too long on it but I will be back to complete it soon.

Employment

1996-1997

House Officer, Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery, The Royal London Hospital, Whitechapel, London

The Unleashing of The Creative Side Began 2001

Practice 1 - 2001

SK Dental Hounslow, London

Practice 2 - 2004

The New York Dental Office, Brentford, London

Practice 3 - 2007

Practice 4 - 2014

Practice 5 - 2020

2017

2018

2019

2016 - Present

2022-2023

2024-The Future